The Deipnosophist

Where the science of investing becomes an art of living

My Photo
Location: Summerlin, Nevada, United States

A private investor for 20+ years, I manage private portfolios and write about investing. You can read my market musings on three different sites: 1) The Deipnosophist, dedicated to teaching the market's processes and mechanics; 2) Investment Poetry, a subscription site dedicated to real time investment recommendations; and 3) Seeking Alpha, a combination of the other two sites with a mix of reprints from this site and all-original content. See you here, there, or the other site!

07 October 2008

New Market Definitions

From reader (and friend), Ray Seakan, comes this list of investing definitions...

New Market Definitions:
-- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

-- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low... and selling lower
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors who wet their pants as the market continues its crash
BROKER -- What my broker has made me
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves
MARKET CORRECTION -- Occurs the day after you buy stocks
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you are the sucker who bought Yahoo/YHOO @ $240
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Investor now locked up in a nuthouse
PROFIT -- Archaic; no longer in use.

Thanks, Ray. I needed a good laugh!

-- David M Gordon / The Deipnosophist


who's online